Monday, January 13, 2014
Friday, January 3, 2014
Timing Device Locations
My Master Eevil:
Below I have detailed the exact locations of each timing device, which also include Fail Safe Code information. An Omniglot such as Yourself should have no difficulty with these headings, and the cipher autokeys are (first and last name) assassination dates:
Julian Day 2420312
rzlr lfvbhz gwb saqyx rimo xixa fdqs
19 Sh'vat, 5708 AM
boyk nqd jodr ohue pfct yaoqa
Sweetmorn, 34 The Aftermath, 3129 YOLD
cvl eoggnrjsehv ised brzqpee r gkxhpx pvepk svq vlzxdepd eagh
Lilas, Décade III, Jour du Sexidi, Mois de Germinal, Année 73 de la République
iouihn olvlqb ovx srztl vwb yh gzw wzbukcw
Your henchman,
The Black Chamber
Below I have detailed the exact locations of each timing device, which also include Fail Safe Code information. An Omniglot such as Yourself should have no difficulty with these headings, and the cipher autokeys are (first and last name) assassination dates:
Julian Day 2420312
rzlr lfvbhz gwb saqyx rimo xixa fdqs
19 Sh'vat, 5708 AM
boyk nqd jodr ohue pfct yaoqa
Sweetmorn, 34 The Aftermath, 3129 YOLD
cvl eoggnrjsehv ised brzqpee r gkxhpx pvepk svq vlzxdepd eagh
Lilas, Décade III, Jour du Sexidi, Mois de Germinal, Année 73 de la République
iouihn olvlqb ovx srztl vwb yh gzw wzbukcw
Your henchman,
The Black Chamber
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
San Andreas Master Plan
The Right Honourable Lord Eevil:
I, your humble henchman, wish to update You on my contribution to Your overall Master Plan of World Domination. As I am certain You well know, in recent years I have made use of multiple shadowy financial institutions as fronts for real estate investments from Bakersfield to the Coachella Valley. At this point, we now possess a majority of the land area in the Counties of Kern, Los Angeles, San Bernardino and Riverside that lie along the northeast border of the infamous San Andreas Fault.
The next stage, of course, will be to cause everything from Santa Barbara to San Diego to sink beneath the waves of the Pacific Ocean. To this end, I have recently placed massive nuclear devices at the bottom of Lakes that lie strategically along the fault line. Each device has a radio receiver simply awaiting the detonation signal, after which the explosive shock waves will trigger an exponentially larger earthquake.
Synchronized timing devices with small radio transmitters have already been secretly hidden near each of the Lakes, all easily accessible from Major Highways should You need to verify their functionality. To guarantee complete control over the timing of the plan and as a precaution against potential malfunctions, I have provided You a Fail Safe Code, but I have divided this Code between these devices to insure its security. Should any one timer be discovered, we need not fear for the revelation of the Code, but You may acquire it by visiting each and assembling the necessary calculation.
Should any or all of the timing devices be somehow disabled, which is of course impossible, the Fail Safe Code will give you access to the Radio Transmitter above Your underground lair in the San Gabriel Mountains. Thus, even without the synchronized timing devices, You will still personally be able to detonate the explosives remotely from the security of this bunker.
Upon detonation of the devices, a massive earthquake on an unprecedented scale will quickly grant You hundreds of miles of newly-created beachfront property, and Your secret base will be at the center of a lovely new island. I so look forward to scuba diving off the beaches of the San Gabriel Archipelago. As merely a serendipitous side-effect, You will also be rid of the millions of vacuous and worthless sheep that populate Southern California.
Your ever-humble henchman,
The Black Chamber
I, your humble henchman, wish to update You on my contribution to Your overall Master Plan of World Domination. As I am certain You well know, in recent years I have made use of multiple shadowy financial institutions as fronts for real estate investments from Bakersfield to the Coachella Valley. At this point, we now possess a majority of the land area in the Counties of Kern, Los Angeles, San Bernardino and Riverside that lie along the northeast border of the infamous San Andreas Fault.
The next stage, of course, will be to cause everything from Santa Barbara to San Diego to sink beneath the waves of the Pacific Ocean. To this end, I have recently placed massive nuclear devices at the bottom of Lakes that lie strategically along the fault line. Each device has a radio receiver simply awaiting the detonation signal, after which the explosive shock waves will trigger an exponentially larger earthquake.
Synchronized timing devices with small radio transmitters have already been secretly hidden near each of the Lakes, all easily accessible from Major Highways should You need to verify their functionality. To guarantee complete control over the timing of the plan and as a precaution against potential malfunctions, I have provided You a Fail Safe Code, but I have divided this Code between these devices to insure its security. Should any one timer be discovered, we need not fear for the revelation of the Code, but You may acquire it by visiting each and assembling the necessary calculation.
Should any or all of the timing devices be somehow disabled, which is of course impossible, the Fail Safe Code will give you access to the Radio Transmitter above Your underground lair in the San Gabriel Mountains. Thus, even without the synchronized timing devices, You will still personally be able to detonate the explosives remotely from the security of this bunker.
Upon detonation of the devices, a massive earthquake on an unprecedented scale will quickly grant You hundreds of miles of newly-created beachfront property, and Your secret base will be at the center of a lovely new island. I so look forward to scuba diving off the beaches of the San Gabriel Archipelago. As merely a serendipitous side-effect, You will also be rid of the millions of vacuous and worthless sheep that populate Southern California.
Your ever-humble henchman,
The Black Chamber
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